do I love them, or do I love what they do?
Let me start this post out with an example.
Two years ago, (two years after the first love) I went out the best date of my life. This woman was incredible. I've never laughed so much, and had so much genuine, easy, and interesting conversation in one evening in my life. We went out to dinner and walked around town for hours, then went back to her house and sat on the porch for hours, talking the entire time. I didn't leave until around 2 in the morning.
Throughout the next week we talked on the phone for hours at a time. This girl was incredible.
The next week, I went over to her house after an evening class. She sat me down on the porch and asked me where I was with God. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't in the same place as her, it was a very important issue with her.
Christianity has always been a part of my life, but I am very private about my beliefs. I go to church every week (and currently work in one), but when it comes down to it, my beliefs don't shape who I am like they do for some.
So, she told me that it couldn't work out. I rarely try to talk my way out of such situations, but this time I did. I told her I wanted to make it more a part of my life, which was true, though I wanted to do it more for her than for me. It wasn't enough though, so I kissed her on the cheek and we left that evening as friends.
As I drove home, it was the first time I cried in over two years. Over the next few months, I tried desperately to maintain a working friendship with her, but she distanced herself from me, and soon it was awkward to pass her in the halls.
Within a month she began dating a man who shared her strong sense of faith, and within 8 months they were married. This man, though, unfortunately lacks personality, and any semblance of a sense of humor. It was utterly inconceivable to me that this would be the man she would choose to marry.
I spoke to her at a halloween party last year, after she was married. She said something really funny (and slightly off color) and she and I burst into laughter. Her husband didn't. He turned to her and gave her a dirty look.
How? How could this happen? I'll tell you. That is what happens when otherwise intelligent people put the idea of what they want above what they actually want. She married her idea of the perfect man, and now she will live with a humorless man for the rest of her days.
Every time you take an interest in someone, just make sure you ask yourself this question - "do I love them, or do I love what they do?"
Let me start this post out with an example.
Two years ago, (two years after the first love) I went out the best date of my life. This woman was incredible. I've never laughed so much, and had so much genuine, easy, and interesting conversation in one evening in my life. We went out to dinner and walked around town for hours, then went back to her house and sat on the porch for hours, talking the entire time. I didn't leave until around 2 in the morning.
Throughout the next week we talked on the phone for hours at a time. This girl was incredible.
The next week, I went over to her house after an evening class. She sat me down on the porch and asked me where I was with God. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't in the same place as her, it was a very important issue with her.
Christianity has always been a part of my life, but I am very private about my beliefs. I go to church every week (and currently work in one), but when it comes down to it, my beliefs don't shape who I am like they do for some.
So, she told me that it couldn't work out. I rarely try to talk my way out of such situations, but this time I did. I told her I wanted to make it more a part of my life, which was true, though I wanted to do it more for her than for me. It wasn't enough though, so I kissed her on the cheek and we left that evening as friends.
As I drove home, it was the first time I cried in over two years. Over the next few months, I tried desperately to maintain a working friendship with her, but she distanced herself from me, and soon it was awkward to pass her in the halls.
Within a month she began dating a man who shared her strong sense of faith, and within 8 months they were married. This man, though, unfortunately lacks personality, and any semblance of a sense of humor. It was utterly inconceivable to me that this would be the man she would choose to marry.
I spoke to her at a halloween party last year, after she was married. She said something really funny (and slightly off color) and she and I burst into laughter. Her husband didn't. He turned to her and gave her a dirty look.
How? How could this happen? I'll tell you. That is what happens when otherwise intelligent people put the idea of what they want above what they actually want. She married her idea of the perfect man, and now she will live with a humorless man for the rest of her days.
Every time you take an interest in someone, just make sure you ask yourself this question - "do I love them, or do I love what they do?"
posted by Composer at 9:58 PM
1 Comments:
This is an interesting post. To some extent, I think it rings true. I, personally, do not think it's fair to judge. I find it funny that a christian would judge you based on your faith, or lack there of. But don't we all judge in a way? Our friends? Our lovers?
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