ISN'T IT FUNNY?
When you think something from your past is gone for good. I mentioned First Love to TS last night when she asked about my past relationships. I didn't feel any sadness when I told her that First Love is now married to someone else. TS looked surprised, but I shrugged, it's long gone.
And then today, I go over to my parents house to use their treadmill and my dad hands me a bunch of pictures I used to keep in my wallet. He'd found them in my old room.
I go through them. A picture of my sister. Two of my best female friends from high school. A few girls I dated. ...and then her. Two pictures of First Love.
I probably stared at them for 10 minutes. Once I snapped myself out of that daze I flipped it over and read what she wrote on the back. Something cute and witty, self-depricating humor. It was just like something she would have said. I could almost hear her voice when I read it.
I've thought about who really meant the most to me in my dating life. First Love, LL, or K. It sounds like a sick competition, but it's not, it's just something I think of from time to time. This settled it. First Love meant the world to me. She will always have a piece of my heart. That love is unconditional. I pray that she's happy now. The kind of happy where she never thinks about me ever again.
When you think something from your past is gone for good. I mentioned First Love to TS last night when she asked about my past relationships. I didn't feel any sadness when I told her that First Love is now married to someone else. TS looked surprised, but I shrugged, it's long gone.
And then today, I go over to my parents house to use their treadmill and my dad hands me a bunch of pictures I used to keep in my wallet. He'd found them in my old room.
I go through them. A picture of my sister. Two of my best female friends from high school. A few girls I dated. ...and then her. Two pictures of First Love.
I probably stared at them for 10 minutes. Once I snapped myself out of that daze I flipped it over and read what she wrote on the back. Something cute and witty, self-depricating humor. It was just like something she would have said. I could almost hear her voice when I read it.
I've thought about who really meant the most to me in my dating life. First Love, LL, or K. It sounds like a sick competition, but it's not, it's just something I think of from time to time. This settled it. First Love meant the world to me. She will always have a piece of my heart. That love is unconditional. I pray that she's happy now. The kind of happy where she never thinks about me ever again.
posted by Composer at 5:29 PM
4 Comments:
Do you ever or have you thought about contacting her, to see? To ask those questions? Thought about asking her out to like lunch or something?
Here's the thing. You know I'm obsessive, I get something stuck in my head and I can't get it out until I take care of it. My high school boyfriend (bwtn AH) and I broke up in a funny way. We both thought we'd be together forever. And then things ended weirdly and not the way either of us thought.
I ended up seeking him out. I needed some sort of "closure". And I got it. I've not given him much thought since. I'm *happy* I did.
Just a thought.
The other thing though is that a first love is something....special. Something you will and should keep in your heart. You know?
Any chance of being able to see FL??? Just curious. ;) You talk about your type all the time and stuff, just interested/wondering....
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I occasionally think about ex's from time to time. I think it's just normal.
I agree with EE, closure is important. Especially if there is lingering doubt... you only live once. You have nothing to lose.
I'm still waiting for "dorkatur backside" shots... eagerly :-)
Uhmmmm...
First love?! ...I thought he was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. But that dream became a nightmare...... I shouldn't think about HIM as my 'first love' but I loved him once. Then...I fall in love 'again' and.....
I decided LOVE isn't for ME.
So...I'm fine with that.
*sigh*
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