SOUTHERN BELLE
So I think I left you guys sort of hanging with this... and besides, I could REALLY use some advice here.
As you know, I had been dreading breaking up with Southern Belle for many weeks. We've seen each other nearly every day for the last 2 months, and she's really become my best friend here. I knew that this would not be easy.
So, sometime last week, I finally sat her down and told her how I feel. I was honest, but did hold some things back. I told her I like her, a lot. But we've been dating for 2 months, and if I'm not feeling like being in a committed relationship yet, then I'm just not going to right now. That's all true.
What I didn't say is, the reason I feel that way is because the conversation just isn't there like it should be, and she's awkward when it comes to being physical (the little bit we have). When it comes down to it, I feel like I'm dating a girl. A very smart, wonderful, fantastic girl. But a girl. Not a woman. The fact is, I'm not going to fall in love with a girl. I may grow to love her over time, but not in the way she deserves to be loved.
All of that may change in time. I told her that, for the time being, we should step back to being friends. My reasoning is that if we really have a shot at being together, it would be better not to force a relationship now while I'm not feeling it. I really believe this, and I think she believed me too.
She took everything surprisingly well... we hung out the rest of the night and had a great time. As much as I'd been dreading the conversation with her, it all went well. I thought.
Well, I got an e-mail from her Saturday afternoon. She cancelled our plans for the evening, and told me she was having a hard time. She said it would be best if she could take some time before seeing me again, and then abrubtly ended the e-mail. I saw her later that day as I was leaving the gym and she looked like she had been crying.
I don't know what to do. My heart sank past my stomach. I came back to my apartment and stared at the wall for 30 minutes, trying not to cry. This girl is going through hell and there's nothing I can do about it. She's my best friend here, and we haven't spoken for days now. I want her to know I'm here for her. I want her to talk to me, or something. I don't know.
People. What can I do? She hasn't returned my e-mails. I'm losing my best friend.
So I think I left you guys sort of hanging with this... and besides, I could REALLY use some advice here.
As you know, I had been dreading breaking up with Southern Belle for many weeks. We've seen each other nearly every day for the last 2 months, and she's really become my best friend here. I knew that this would not be easy.
So, sometime last week, I finally sat her down and told her how I feel. I was honest, but did hold some things back. I told her I like her, a lot. But we've been dating for 2 months, and if I'm not feeling like being in a committed relationship yet, then I'm just not going to right now. That's all true.
What I didn't say is, the reason I feel that way is because the conversation just isn't there like it should be, and she's awkward when it comes to being physical (the little bit we have). When it comes down to it, I feel like I'm dating a girl. A very smart, wonderful, fantastic girl. But a girl. Not a woman. The fact is, I'm not going to fall in love with a girl. I may grow to love her over time, but not in the way she deserves to be loved.
All of that may change in time. I told her that, for the time being, we should step back to being friends. My reasoning is that if we really have a shot at being together, it would be better not to force a relationship now while I'm not feeling it. I really believe this, and I think she believed me too.
She took everything surprisingly well... we hung out the rest of the night and had a great time. As much as I'd been dreading the conversation with her, it all went well. I thought.
Well, I got an e-mail from her Saturday afternoon. She cancelled our plans for the evening, and told me she was having a hard time. She said it would be best if she could take some time before seeing me again, and then abrubtly ended the e-mail. I saw her later that day as I was leaving the gym and she looked like she had been crying.
I don't know what to do. My heart sank past my stomach. I came back to my apartment and stared at the wall for 30 minutes, trying not to cry. This girl is going through hell and there's nothing I can do about it. She's my best friend here, and we haven't spoken for days now. I want her to know I'm here for her. I want her to talk to me, or something. I don't know.
People. What can I do? She hasn't returned my e-mails. I'm losing my best friend.
posted by Composer at 1:08 PM
3 Comments:
Dating the best friend has bad reprecussions, I'm sorry to say. But if she is really great and understanding, maybe you need to give her the time she asked for and hope for the best. She might have to totally rethink how she sees you now and she might need to see if she can settle into 'best friend.' Hang in there. Try not to beat yourself up over it too much.
I think. She sounds like a wonderful friend.
But what caught my attention and struck out at me was this:
"I'm not going to fall in love with a girl. I may grow to love her over time, but not in the way she deserves to be loved."
No girl wants to be 'grown' to loved.... We want to feel magically *IN LOVE*. As I'm sure you do too, no?
It doesn't sound or seem 'right'. She sounds like an amazing person, girl and friend. Give her some space, some time and see where that leads and takes you.
It was HUGE for you to be able to talk with her about this finally. Kuddos, dearheart. :)
And I agree w/ Prof, don't beat yourself up too much. Ok?
*hugs*
xoxoxo
totally agree with Professor. I think Southern Belle needs space from you right now, she needs to readjust her view of you, to settle things in her head and heart that for now and possibly for always you will just be the best of friends.
Post a Comment
<< Home