BLEH
I come to you slightly bummed today at -
1. The way things seem to have ended up with New Years Eve girl.
2. The way I think things are going to end up with Southern Belle.
3. The way my writing is going.
I honestly don't even want to talk about New Years Eve girl, that situation just sucks. As far as Southern Belle... I've tried every which way to be OK with the fact that we're never going beyond kissing, but it's just not going to work. This sucks. I feel like a bastard because I can't get over something like that... but to tell the truth, I think if it was love, I'd be willing to deal with anything.
Here's an example. We're lying in her bed kissing, 2 nights ago. I would never try anything if I know she wouldn't go for it. That's fine. I've been very respectful. But as we're laying side by side, I try to gently grab her leg and guide it behind mine (so we're a bit more "locked in"), I can feel her fight me (or at least not go with me, I'm not sure). So I stop. Maybe she's not comfortable with that... ok... so I start kissing her neck, and roll above her as I do. For practicality, it's easier if my legs are inbetween hers, but when I go to move her leg, again I feel her fight me (does she think I'm going to dry hump her or what?)... so I'm trying to akwardly hold myself up as I kiss her. By this point, you can imagine that frustration has taken over most feelings of arousal, so I stop kissing her and put my neck near her face. I say, "it's ok if you'd like to kiss my neck you know," and she does. About 3 pecks.
Ho. ly. shit. This, literally, feels like the early years of high school all over again... and at least I was getting to 2nd base back then. It's clear that she is not comfortable with any forms of physicality, and honestly, I doubt she is ever going to be able to enjoy sex, even with the person she marries.
It's important, just as important as any other part of a healthy relationship - and if everything is not just right, I'm not going to get into a relationship.
So now I have to figure out how to tell this otherwise wonderful girl that I don't want to be with her. That's going to be a blast.
I come to you slightly bummed today at -
1. The way things seem to have ended up with New Years Eve girl.
2. The way I think things are going to end up with Southern Belle.
3. The way my writing is going.
I honestly don't even want to talk about New Years Eve girl, that situation just sucks. As far as Southern Belle... I've tried every which way to be OK with the fact that we're never going beyond kissing, but it's just not going to work. This sucks. I feel like a bastard because I can't get over something like that... but to tell the truth, I think if it was love, I'd be willing to deal with anything.
Here's an example. We're lying in her bed kissing, 2 nights ago. I would never try anything if I know she wouldn't go for it. That's fine. I've been very respectful. But as we're laying side by side, I try to gently grab her leg and guide it behind mine (so we're a bit more "locked in"), I can feel her fight me (or at least not go with me, I'm not sure). So I stop. Maybe she's not comfortable with that... ok... so I start kissing her neck, and roll above her as I do. For practicality, it's easier if my legs are inbetween hers, but when I go to move her leg, again I feel her fight me (does she think I'm going to dry hump her or what?)... so I'm trying to akwardly hold myself up as I kiss her. By this point, you can imagine that frustration has taken over most feelings of arousal, so I stop kissing her and put my neck near her face. I say, "it's ok if you'd like to kiss my neck you know," and she does. About 3 pecks.
Ho. ly. shit. This, literally, feels like the early years of high school all over again... and at least I was getting to 2nd base back then. It's clear that she is not comfortable with any forms of physicality, and honestly, I doubt she is ever going to be able to enjoy sex, even with the person she marries.
It's important, just as important as any other part of a healthy relationship - and if everything is not just right, I'm not going to get into a relationship.
So now I have to figure out how to tell this otherwise wonderful girl that I don't want to be with her. That's going to be a blast.
posted by Composer at 10:36 AM
6 Comments:
I don't envy you that one...Just be nice and polite. I would,f rankly, lie my ass off and take all the blame and not even mention the lack of sexual stuff- she needs no more hangs ups than what she all ready has- that's for sure. sometimes it's okay to fib; this might be one of them.
Thanks for the support professy, I think you're right...
Yeah, Love, I think I have to agree w/ Professor on this one. Saving her feelings on this one may save some pain on everyone's behalf.
I'm sorry though...it's no fun being in any sort of position like you are having to be in.
***hugs***
Ok, I'm going to be the weird female that says, tell her exactly how it is. You can do it in a way that's not mean or vindictive.
I have a feeling you won't be the first person she has heard this from. I think, though that something may have happened in her past that causes her to act this way.
Missing you......
:(
You know where to find me if you need to vent or whatever. *hugs* my Love.
I miss you hun!
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