JUST A LITTLE ADDITION

I got to have another wonderful talk with K tonight. She called to check on me, see if I was OK... how fucking sweet.

We had a good conversation... for a while.

Halfway through, I said "I hope it's cool if I call you with a little regularity." Pretty harmless, I think. All I meant is I'd like to not talk so little as once a month or so. Well, somehow it seemed to upset her... because, after she got all quiet, and I spent 2 minutes asking her what's wrong (which I FUCKING HATE doing), she said, "well, it just seemed weird to me. I don't talk with my friends every week or something."

I really don't even understand her point. Moreso, I don't understand how she couldn't just give me the benefit of the doubt, brush it off, and talk to me at whatever pace she'd already planned (once every 3 months, I'm guessing).

She doesn't deserve me. I treated her good. Damn good. I put up with her shit, her mood swings, her pulling shit like that (oh yeah, remind me to tell you about the time she got mad at me for spilling her drink... what a baby).

She doesn't deserve me. You know who does? Someone who appreciates the fact that I make sacrifices to be with someone I care about. Someone who appreciates the fact that I buy flowers, that I pay for meals. Someone who appreciates that I'm a good, honest, ambitious person, and that, despite that, I put love first.

I deserve someone who gives me the benefit of the doubt. Someone who doesn't make me feel stupid when I make a joke that she doesn't think is funny. Someone who doesn't mind driving across town to see me in the middle of her busy day, or in the middle of the night. Someone with a true sense of humor, and a realistic view of what love is.

I deserve better.