UPDATE AND ANOTHER QUESTION

Generally, things are the same here. I'm starting to worry a little about my inability to overcome my anger. Lately, the worst times have been when home alone, late at night. My mind wanders and the next thing I know I'm boiling over shit that happened a month ago. I don't think it's right (though I feel justified, even in my normal moods, in my anger) to be feeling this way so often, and I don't think it's healthy. It continues to cut into my sleep, which put me in the worst mood I've been in a LONG time this morning.

I couldn't even smile at the teacher or other students, I was absoloutely miserable from sleep deprivation. Coming from the person who is always (and I really mean, always) polite, and always greets friends with a smile, that was very odd. I've told the full story to one friend up here, and she's suggested therapy to deal with the anger, and sleeping pills (from the therapist) to get back on a regular schedule.

I genuinely haven't decided yet. My mom's been consistently on anti-depressants and off and on with sleeping pills for years, and it's done wonders for her. Personally, I think my music, my life, and my own attitude are my anti-depressants pills, and I don't think I would ever take something like that unless my emotions fell out of my control... the sleeping pills, though, are starting to sound like a great idea. If I went to therapy (which I have doubts about), I would prefer it be only to gain some methods of dealing with anger. I can usually feel myself starting to "wind up" - like someone coiling up a spring... if someone could give me some effective methods of dealing with this - nipping it in the butt - before it ruins my night, then I might be better off.

SIGH. Other than that total bull shit? Things are fine. I'm working on an orchestra piece that I think, as things are going now, is going to be my best work so far. It's giving me a lot of hope. I got a church job - but instead of directing, I'll be singing in the choir. How crazy is that? Churches in this city have enough money to pay a professional choir! The money is not amazing, but for the ammount of work, it's really pretty good... and I'm getting paid to sing! Holy crap!

I have yet to have any "romantic encounters" and by that, I mean "freaky sex", but I remain optomistic. I'm in no condition for a relationship, and that's ok for now. My best friend up here, an amazing pianist and just a cute girl, has expressed some interest... however, she has said more than once that she thinks she will marry the next person she dates (I know it seems weird... and it is, but she's only had one boyfriend in her life, and she just picks very carefully), and I'm not even close to wanting to deal with that. If I tried anything with her, she would end up getting hurt, and the friendship would be lost. Maybe down the line... who knows. I'm being careful for now and protecting everybody's feelings.

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These questions are fun to get a response on. If you didn't answer the last one yet, please do, I'm still curious.

Question 2: How often do you want it? This one is interesting to me as I've had more trouble with mismatched libidos lately. I have dated one girl who wanted it more than me. At the time it seemed odd, but I've met others lately who have *claimed* to also want it often. So, how often? When you're not in a relationship, how long can you go before you start looking for a one-nighter? Whe you are in a relationship, how often do you do it?