THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT ALL DAY

Just random shit that keeps popping into my head.

I think people who think we're still going to find WMDs in Iraq are like 40 year olds who still believe in the tooth fairy.

Is it possible to be OCD and ADD? If you add that I'm a procrastinator and a perfectionist, I am one sick son of a bitch.

I think a surefire way to make sure your marriage succeeds is to marry someone with a cool accent. Australian, British, Southern, etc. It's pretty tough to be mad at someone when the way they say "bloody 'ell" is adorable, plus it's fun to listen to them even if they're talking about something boring.

I think people who still support Bush are like fighter pilots who just won't eject.

I like to wait until I can tell someone isn't listening to me and then say, "I want you inside me." When they say, "what was that?" I say, "Oh hey, what's up?"

When I recognized my bag at the baggage claim on Thursday, I thought, "oh, that's mine, it's got the duct tape on it."

There's no i in team... but there's also no i in sperm. Think about it.

If there's one good reason to be a 1st grade teacher, it's because you can teach kids that 2 + 4 = tomato. They don't know no better.

Speaking of that, when I have kids, I'm going to teach them that no means yes and yes means no. Just a little game I play called "screwing kids up for life".