YOU KNOW YOU'RE GROWING UP WHEN...

You turn down sex with a really hot girl because you find her annoying.

Haha, so my hot saturday night date... Well, she's a really hot black girl. Really hot. Cool. She's also kind of a bitch. Not cool.

I take her out to a bar where my buddy bartends. He's pimptacular, and he basically helps me work some magic (and keeps feeding her (and me) awesome free drinks). Thing is, halfway through the night, I actually started to feel bad about subjecting HIM to HER. She talked non-stop: about how much all the boys like her, about he degree, about her sorority, about her blah blah fuckin blah.

And to make things worse, she fished for compliments and rarely laughed at anything... I'm no comedian, but when I get together with my rowdy friends, we're fucking hilarious.

So, after 2 hours, I walk her home. I say I'm going to go meet up with friends at another bar (this was actually her idea originally, she had other plans later... so I made some too). She bitches at me for not inviting her, and then proceeds to start furiously making out with me on the street.

Still, as much as I like kissing a good (and energetic) kisser with nice full lips, I bailed. She asked me to come up but I just couldn't do it. Maybe if my friends weren't waiting on me I might have, who knows.

She called me tonight and asked me to go to her sorority's formal (tonight, something happened to her date). 99% guaranteed sex? I turned it down. If she wants to come over and bang I'll probably take her up on it, but other than that, I don't want to deal with having to meet all her friends and go to a damn dance. I've got homework to do. Ha!

More on pageant girl soon, hope everyone had a great weekend!

AND THE UNIVERSE BALANCES OUT

To make up for my shitty night last night and subsequent lack of sleep, the good Lord (or whatever you believe in) has thrown a little good fortune my way.

I just got the phone number of the HOTTEST black girl since Halle Berry. She sings in one of my school choirs but doesn't go to my campus - which is perfect. She's actually half korean and half black, and let me tell you, there are some good genes there. DA-YUM. We're going out drinking, that's right, drinking saturday night. Wish me luck.

And oh yeah, lest you forget pageant girl is still in the picture. We're going out tomorrow night.

Yeah, I think I'll get over my shitty day yesterday.

And oh yeah, happy HNT!

I haven't been able to run for a month or so due to the ridiculous cold, but I'm finally getting better, so there will be some ab shots again soon enough...

OH. WELL FUCKING WONDERFUL.

Venting.

I just got an upset e-mail from my main teacher because I misunderstood him today. It's a long story, but the jest is - something was supposed to be confidential, I didn't get that part, I told someone.

You can see how worried I am about telling anyone else now, I won't even say it on here.

He's a serious pessimist so it's hard to tell from the tone of his e-mail how angry he is, but he wasn't pleased. But here's the thing - I was obviously just trying to help and there was zero harm done. I actually get pretty offended when people get angry with me in these situations.

Luckily I'm switching to a new teacher next year. He is an excellent teacher, but I can't deal with this negativity anymore. This is bull shit.

WHAT'S THIS... A GIRL? ...INTERESTED?!

Here's the deal on my re-emerging love life.

There's a girl in my church choir who also goes to school with me, though I rarely see her around there. Let's call her pageant girl (she used to do these, aparently)

Well, pageant girl has had a boyfriend for almost 2 years, which puts her firmly off my radar, and is why you haven't heard about her before. But, she and I have been talking more lately. We've played together at gigs recently and have been going out to them just the two of us, giving us lots of time to talk.

In that time I've pretty well figured out that she's interested. Because she told me on Friday (it doesn't take a detective...). I'm very respectful of relationships, but I couldn't not say anything... I told her I think she's very attractive. This of course, inevitably, leads to her and her boyfriend breaking up today. Wonderful.

Do I feel guilty? No, I wouldn't have had her do that. That said, it was going to happen anyway, and it sounds like it was somewhat mutual... though I'm not sure.

Is she relationship material? Maybe, I don't know yet... but at least there might be some dating and maybe some booty in my future. That would be nice. Like. REALLY nice.

I'll let you know what happens...

HNT

By request from Vix... sorry, the quality is poor, damn phone camera...

WOW

I've spent the last week staring at a computer screen, mostly. School is coming to a close soon and I really want to get as much help from my teacher as possible on my new piece. It's for full orchestra and I think it may be the piece that puts me "on the map".

Stuff this large is really time consuming though, so there hasn't been much social stuff going on lately. I've seen a few women around my building that *may* be interested, but I haven't really made any efforts. It all seems pointless, I'm leaving for home in a month - and then I'll come back here after a month - and then home for another month... I'm starting to think the next few months are going to be lonely.

I've had a few girls express interest in hooking up, but I'm just not in the mood for that. Don't get me wrong, I miss sex. A lot. But I was dissapointed with myself for some of the hookups I had after K. I'm not that guy.

Ideas? Yeah, me neither. HNT coming up next.

I MISS SLEEP...

I woke up 2 hours before my alarm was set to go off today... I had a dream about First Love and couldn't go back to sleep. It was bizarre, when it was going on I really felt like we were still together. When I woke up and realized it was a dream I felt like I'd just found out she got married again. It was... unpleasant.

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In less sad and pathetic news, I've got a new Meme assignment from Vix (I do enjoy these things). The rules are, someone picks a letter for you and you have to state 10 things you like and dislike starting with that letter. My letter is S... here goes!

I Like:

1. Snacking, with a vengeance - I don't even eat meals anymore.
2. Sex - like you didn't see that coming.
3. Shower Sex - even better!
4. Slutty Holloween Costumes - Keep 'em coming ladies.
5. Singing - And it pays pretty well.
6. Sleeping Over - Nothing like waking up next to someone special.
7. Steak - I'm a steak whore.
8. Sci-fi - I'm also a NERD.
9. Sweating - love a good workout, in whatever form in may come....
10. Short ladies - As long as they're shorter than me.

I Dislike:

1. Salad - Tastes fine, just takes too long to eat.
2. Starting Conversation (with women) - I'm terrible at it.
3. Standing - Seriously, can't we sit to sing through a 2 hour rehearsal?
4. Shaving - I don't mind the act, I just don't like that it makes me break out.
5. Self-Righteous People - Get out of your ivory tower and join the rest of us.
6. Shorts - The only way you're seeing my white ass legs is if you're about to see my penis.
7. Sloppy Kisses - My face is not a lollipop. Clean it up.
8. Standardized Tests - I'm 23. Stop making me take them.
9. Scrubs at the Gym - Move more than 2 plates or get out of my way.
10. Strippers - Why would I pay good money for glorified softcore when I can get real porn for free on the net?

Anybody else wanna play?

BIG NEWS!

So I went to get my mail today, and you'll never guess what came from my school. A nice little notification that I've just been awarded a graduate assistantship worth the FULL, that's right, FULL cost of my tuition.

That is over 30,000 dollars per year. I am officially on a full ride scholarship!

I seriously can't stop smiling... I need to celebrate. I'll get the booze, you get the strippers.

IF I WAS A HORSE....

The doctors would have shot me by now. Don't get me wrong, I do get compared to horses pretty often. You know, cause of the *HUGE PENIS*... Anyway. I gave in and went to the doctor today. I hate the doctor. You pay them to tell you what you already know, and then they give you some medicine that doesn't work. BUT, if after a week the condition is getting worse, then it's time to see the quack.

I'm now on anti-biotics and useless cough medicine. Keeping my fingers crossed for the anti-biotics to work.

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I wish I had something fun to report.... but not really. Conversations with New Years Eve Girl have started back up, though, which is nice. I remain intrigued by her, and I think there is a possibility of something happening there this summer. I'm going to try not to think about it too much for the next month, but it would be great to see her again.

Peace out, hommies.

WHAT THE HELL DAY IS IT?

I woke up today and I thought maybe it was Saturday. After pondering for a few minutes I finally figured out it was Monday.

Waking up while sick is always a treat. The runny nose has crystalized, thus forcing me to sleep with an open mouth all night. Good morning cotton mouth, sore throat and severly chapped lips. Worse yet, I have really weird, really vivid dreams when I'm sick. I always wake up straight out of those dreams and have no idea where I'm at or what day it is. Bizarre.

I hate it.

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Things with Southern Belle have finally gotten back on the healthy side. She seems to be handling things pretty well now. I think it helped that we had a talk. She asked me to tell her anything else that was on my mind about her, so I did. I told her that I think some of our communication problems (the conversation just not being there) stemmed from the fact that she would never really open up to me.

I never knew when something was bothering her, and in the end it created a barrier between us. When you couple that with a lack of an open physical relationship, the whole thing ended up feeling sort of shallow.

She said she understood, and that she wants to work on it. I don't know what to expect, but maybe she will really take it to heart and start being more open with me. I do believe there's a chance of something in the future, so I'm glad things are going well now.

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As far as other women? Nothing going on. Nothing. Boo.

I figured out that to have a chance with the girl in my building I would basically have to stalk her. She didn't give me her apartment number, the building manager did... so unfortunately I can't just stop by.

Bummer... And as far as girls at school... well, I pretty much decided to not date at school anymore. Too small, too much gossip. Maybe I need to start hitting the bars?