ARE YOU BORED?

Then this post is for you.

These are some bands that really inspire me.

Fall Out Boy has some really awesome rhythms. It's amazing how catchy their stuff is. These songs are more lighthearted, but they range in the intensity of the lyrics.

Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance



Fall Out Boy - This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race



A.F.I. has been around for a while. I'm just becoming familiar with them, but apparently they used to be a more hardcore punk band. I got their new CD and I just love how different every song is. Some are Emo (Love Like Winter), some are hardcore punk, and some even sound like hip-hop (...with a twist - Prelude 12/21)

A.F.I. - Love Like Winter



A.F.I. - Prelude 12/21


Snow Patrol is pretty good. Out of all these songs, this reminds me the most of my own style. Note the long, repetitive buildup to the climax. It works so well because it draws you in almost like hypnosis and then slowly builds in intensity. Very powerful, I think.

Snow Patrol - Open Your Eyes (not a real video... but a good song, nonetheless)


My Chemical Romance is really great. Personally I don't think they have any one "best" song like some of these others, but what's great is they're really consistent. I can't find a song on either of their CDs I own that I don't like.

My Chemical Romance - The Ghost of You



My Chemical Romance - Cancer

OOPS

I blinked and 7 days went by.

To be honest, I've had the time to blog, BUT... the female situation remains confusing.... and I really hate contradicting myself on every other entry I make. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say I'm not sure anymore.

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I'm in the full swing of class now. Taking a lot of classes and generally loving them. I've decided now to get 2 masters degrees. Crazy huh? Composition and Music Education. This will allow me to teach both at the K-12 level and the junior college/small university level. Badass.

A sample of the classes I'm taking are -

music and the special student - a really interesting class about working with disabled children

instrument classes - I'm learning how to play the trombone, french horn and various percussion this semester... AWESOME!

Add to that - lessons, choirs, conducting classes, and other academic classes... this is gonna be a bitch! But totally worth it. I'm really a lot more happy this semester - for various reasons, but having classes that I enjoy and find worthwhile is a big part of that hapiness. Good things people. Good things.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...

It's my birthday! Whoo! It doesn't really feel like it, since I'm in the middle of a busy day... but whatever, somebody buy me shit!

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For some reason I can't reply to Vix's TMI... so here is my comment I WOULD leave on her post -

1. What is a creampie?

My signature move.

2. Once a cheater, always a cheater. True or false… why?

Well, from what I've seen with my friends, that is true... BUT, I think there are plenty of people out there who probably did it once and realized it made them feel terrible and will never do it again.

I don't know though, I've never cheated. Never will.

3. Where is the female G spot and how do you find it?

Well... in MY experience, it tends to be about 2 - 3 inches inside, and on the top side. If you curl your finger a little and experiment, you might be able to find it.

I've dated girls who you could feel it LIKE A BUTTON. It was awesome. And I've dated other girls who didn't know where their own was (but that didn't seem to keep them from getting frustrated with me... seriously, what's up with that? If you can't find it, how am I supposed to?).
If all else fails, go for the clit.

4. Is there a correlation between shoe size and penis size?

There's no correlation between penis size and anything. There are huge dudes with tiny dicks, and tiny dudes with huge dicks.

5. Can women have wet dreams?

Why not?

Bonus: Take a wild guess, how many calories are in a man’s average ejaculation?

Who cares, I tell them that mine prevents cancer.

P.S - 400 loads huh? I could knock that out by lunch!

I'M A TRAINWRECK

To take a quote from Breezy.

So I had a conversation with TS on the phone today. I can honestly say it was the high point of my week. I hung up the phone and realized we'd been talking for 30 minutes... which, albeit, is not that much time. But it didn't even feel like that long. The conversation is easy and fun. Really fun. That's so hard to find.

I mentioned to her that I was interested in coming home for a few days in Febraury. She got very excited and suggested that she would drive to KC (2 hours) if I did. That is a very good sign.

It's tough to know where to take it from here. I'm trying to let things roll and take it as it comes, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job. I'm extremely interested in persuing this, and I'm going to try to make that more clear the next time I see her.

Only an 18 hour drive... that's not stupid at all...

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and here comes the trainwreck part. I haven't talked with HR yet. (btw, am I the only one who thinks I need a better system for hiding identities?)

The girl is beyond sweet. A real southern belle.

She stopped by my place today on her way back from church. I opened the door and accidentally let out an audible, "wow". She looked amazing... just stunning.

It's tough to turn down something that's right in your face and take a gamle instead. Especially when what's available is pretty good in its own right.

But here's the truth (and believe me, I'm saying this as much for me as I am for you), when you know someone is more right for you, you have to go for that.

Hurdles be damned, I'm going to make an effort with TS, because she's the one I have the real feelings for, not the one who lives in the same building as me.

I FIGURED IT OUT

Unfortunately, I just don't think it's going to work out. Honestly, I think it sucks because she's great, but here's why it wouldn't work.

1. I've hung out with her several times this week and still haven't felt a real connection. It's fun, but not "where'd the time go?" fun.

2. She admitted to me last night that she doesn't swear, and doesn't like to hear it. That's kind of a damn hell ass problem for me... there's just no way I can hold that back forever.

3. She hasn't dated in years. Technically, that's fine if I really like someone, but chances are if we started dating she would take it more seriously than me, and I don't see it getting serious with her.

It may sound like excuses, but it's not like that. I was hoping I would discover that I like her more from hanging out with her, but it didn't turn out that way. I'm not sure where to go from here. I like spending time with her, but I think we need to keep it at friends. How am I going to tell her?

We've never held hands, kissed or even cuddled... but it's obvious there's interest there. I need to say something... delicately. ....thoughts?

WOW

That's all I can say of blind date girl. She's a bitch!

As you might remember, I actually had to call her and make her break up with me. Break up, is a term I'm using loosely, because we weren't together, we were barely dating... but I don't take kindly to people playing games, and she was obviously acting distant and bitchy to try to get me to break up with her. How old are we?

So I called and told her if she wanted to break up with me, she should just do it. She began spewing that things were fine now but there was no future blah blah etc. Whatever, I'm cool with it.

Well, new semester rolls around. I haven't talked to her since that conversation, but I assume we're all adults and can handle ourselves as such.

WRONG!

I walk into a courtyard/walkway and see her chatting on her cell phone. I'm walking with someone else and I wave at her. She sees me and turns away. Ok... so as we near her I say "hey, what's up?" and she actually turns her entire body away from me.

So... here's the message I sent her when I got home -

"come on ____... I can't believe you actually wouldn't say hello to me or at least smile politely today. What's up with that?

I have no problem with you, and I have no idea why you'd have one with me. Didn't you do the breaking up? I don't expect to be best friends, but you're better than that, right?"

As expected, no response. I'm at a loss. I haven't experienced anything like this since high school. One bitchy girl in college was pretty childish, but at least she acknowledged me. 23 years old folks. 23.

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I've been hanging out with the new girl, HR pretty frequently. I remain ...confused about whether it's worth persuing.

Maybe I should rephrase that. She's smart. Talented (very). Beautiful. Genuinely sweet, and sincere. She's worth persuing. She's an amazing girl.

But is she right for me? Still on the fence. Normally by this point, I would determine that if I'm not sure, that's the answer I need - not for me. Here's why I'm delaying that decision. I feel like she's holding back. She seems nervous, or ...something, I don't know. I want her to be more comfortable around me, but I don't know any ways to do that without leading her on (things that loosen me up and make me more comfortable with someone are cuddling, kissing, and sex). As of right now we've done nothing more than hug, and I'd like to keep it that way before I decide a bit more. ...I think that's a good idea...

But as of right now the conversation is fairly one sided. I have to start most of them. Every once in a while she says something really funny. But it's not there like it should be. Loosing hope, but it's still there for the moment.

SURI

I just wanted to write a quick note here.

Most of the few people who read this also read Suri's blog and probably also know that she passed away.

I didn't know her personally, but I kind of felt like I did. She wrote well and wore her heart on her sleve. She was smart, funny, caring, clever, deep... she was a good person, and she'll be missed.

DATE N' SUCH

So, I went on a date last night. Monday night, you ask? Why yes, I'm just that classy.

I had a pretty good time. The girl is ridiculously nice, a talented musician, smart, cute, rockin' body. BUT. I don't know yet.

Yet is the key, I haven't decided. She's kind of the "great on paper" kind of girl. Everything's great, but I don't know if there's a click. The conversation felt a bit strained, but if everything else is good, I like to give it a little more time to see if that develops. Maybe she's shy... she seems the type.

I honestly think I'm still feeling pretty strongly towards TS (the girl I met New Years Eve and went on a date with while home). I think I'm doing the right thing by continuing to date, TS and I aren't serious at all, but I can't help comparing.

We'll see where all this goes, but conversation with TS remains encouraging!

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School started today. Wish me some damn luck, cause I'm gonna be busy. I'm taking over 20 hours of Masters and Undergraduate classes. That includes lessons, choirs, seminars, conducting classes and regular classes. What the hell am I thinking?

Oh yeah, I don't want to be in school until I'm 30.

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Speaking of which, I'll be 23 on Tuesday. I currently have no birthday plans. Whatev. I'll drink alone damnit!

THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT ALL DAY

Just random shit that keeps popping into my head.

I think people who think we're still going to find WMDs in Iraq are like 40 year olds who still believe in the tooth fairy.

Is it possible to be OCD and ADD? If you add that I'm a procrastinator and a perfectionist, I am one sick son of a bitch.

I think a surefire way to make sure your marriage succeeds is to marry someone with a cool accent. Australian, British, Southern, etc. It's pretty tough to be mad at someone when the way they say "bloody 'ell" is adorable, plus it's fun to listen to them even if they're talking about something boring.

I think people who still support Bush are like fighter pilots who just won't eject.

I like to wait until I can tell someone isn't listening to me and then say, "I want you inside me." When they say, "what was that?" I say, "Oh hey, what's up?"

When I recognized my bag at the baggage claim on Thursday, I thought, "oh, that's mine, it's got the duct tape on it."

There's no i in team... but there's also no i in sperm. Think about it.

If there's one good reason to be a 1st grade teacher, it's because you can teach kids that 2 + 4 = tomato. They don't know no better.

Speaking of that, when I have kids, I'm going to teach them that no means yes and yes means no. Just a little game I play called "screwing kids up for life".

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

Too good to be true? Of course.

As you know, I was paid 500 dollars to write a band piece. Pretty cool.

Well, the director looked over the score and wants me to change a lot of stuff. Frick on a stick people.

What troubles me is that this is the third time I've been asked to change stuff when writing for someone else. That makes me 2-3 for getting it right the first time on paid work. Maybe I'm still new to the world of commissions, and maybe I need to pay better attention to people when they tell me what they're looking for... but is it really supposed to be like this? Aren't they paying me to get MY style?

I guess I should only worry about that when I actually like the kind of piece I'm writing. He asked me to write a traditional Sousa style march. I've never liked marches anyway. I guess I'll just change it and then never try to get it published. There goes my next two days.

Just venting people. Thanks for tuning in. We now return to your regularly scheduled shit that actually matters.

BACK IN BALIMER

I flew back today. It was actually pretty nice. There were about 20 people on the plane, so I got to lay down and sleep. Then the flight got in 30 minutes early, so I had time to go grocery shopping before my rehearsal this evening.

Traveling is much more bearable when you already feel settled into both the destination and the departure point. I pretty much feel at home in both places.

That's not to say I'm not going to miss home. I am, quite a bit. I had a great time this break, seeing friends and family, settling back into my home, eating out, relaxing. It was good. Also, I think things with TS might (I emphasize might) be going somewhere, too, so it would be nice to be closer.

But. I feel more ready for school this time. I'm familiar with everything now. I'm comfortable with the work, the city, my friends, and I'm not reeling over a girl anymore. I think this is going to be a much better semester.

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Thanks again for playing along in the quiz folks! It was fun.

CURIOSITY QUIZ

So these are some things I'm curious about. Ladies... help me out here. (I'll tell you my feeling about these things soon). Explanations are welcomed.

1. Music during sex. Good or Bad?
2. Chest hair on guys. Should they shave it?
3. Hair down south on guys. Should they trim it?
4. Hard sex. Yay or nay?
5. Would you date someone shorter than you?
6. If you really liked someone but the sex wasn't there, would you try to teach them?
7. Do you like it when guys go down on you?
8. Would you kiss them afterward?
9. Would you do a long distance relationship?
10. How long do you wait before messing around? Sex?

Like I said, curious. If any make you uncomfortable, feel free to not answer those. Peace.

ISN'T IT FUNNY?

When you think something from your past is gone for good. I mentioned First Love to TS last night when she asked about my past relationships. I didn't feel any sadness when I told her that First Love is now married to someone else. TS looked surprised, but I shrugged, it's long gone.

And then today, I go over to my parents house to use their treadmill and my dad hands me a bunch of pictures I used to keep in my wallet. He'd found them in my old room.

I go through them. A picture of my sister. Two of my best female friends from high school. A few girls I dated. ...and then her. Two pictures of First Love.

I probably stared at them for 10 minutes. Once I snapped myself out of that daze I flipped it over and read what she wrote on the back. Something cute and witty, self-depricating humor. It was just like something she would have said. I could almost hear her voice when I read it.

I've thought about who really meant the most to me in my dating life. First Love, LL, or K. It sounds like a sick competition, but it's not, it's just something I think of from time to time. This settled it. First Love meant the world to me. She will always have a piece of my heart. That love is unconditional. I pray that she's happy now. The kind of happy where she never thinks about me ever again.

THE REPORT

Well... what can I say? That girl is awesome.

We had a great time. Started out the evening by watching the last few minutes of the game... her suggestion. We talked sports most of the time. Nice.

After that we got pizza. We got a little more in depth, talked about our families, made fun of our waitress (she was really cute, but sounded like she was 5), don't worry, I tipped her well to make up for it.

From there we went to blockbuster, looked around, and decided to see something at the theatre instead (where she insisted on paying to make up for dinner, a really sweet thing to do). We ended up with The Pursuit of Happyness (excellent), and had a good time.

After the movie I took her home and we chatted for a little while longer. I wanted to stay longer and keep talking, but I also didn't want to push my luck. We had a great night and I thought it better to leave on a high note... I didn't want her to think I was sticking around to try to get some action. We hugged, she asked me to call when I got home safely.

It was great. We were laughing a lot of the night and just having a great time. She makes me comfortable, and that makes it easy to joke and have a good time.

That said. I got the vibe that she is interested, but I didn't get the vibe that she wanted to try something further. She also mentioned that she'd never been in a real relationship. As far as I'm concerned, that's not all bad, because it shows a girl is picky. But. If someone's never done a relationship, they would be even less likely to do long distance. Like most career driven girls, I think she's looking for convienence in a relationship.

I won't know for sure until I talk with her a bit more.. but I'm guessing it will be a while before I see her again. It was really great, though, to get back out there and enjoy myself with a girl who actually deserves my time. It's tough to see a good oportunity pass, but somehow I think tonight will renew me.

CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

That's my current mood, not really a new thing. If it goes bad for any reason, I'm not going to dwell, if it goes well, then cool. Despite the fact that I'm writing a lot about this date this week, I'm really not so caught up with it. I'm more just glad that I have one I can be excited about (as opposed to the usual apathy), know what I mean? I am nervous... but just pre-date jitters.

Thanks all for your kind words regarding this date! You're very sweet.

PSHAW.

Oh freaking hell, I'm actually nervous about Saturday. I am a dorkataur. I have no idea what I'm nervous about. Every time I start feeling this way before a date everything turns out FINE. In fact, it seems to help and I usually have a better time.

But of course, I couldn't stop the thoughts going through my head. What if I can't think of things to talk about? What if I can't find anything to do and she gets bored? Etcetera, etcetera, et-frickin-cetera.

Once I thought about it, I took a deep breath and chilled out. Even if everything goes perfectly, there's still little hope of a relationship.

G mentioned that I shouldn't knock long-distance, and I'm not. As some of you know, First Love, whom I was with for a year and a half lived about 7 hours away for most of the time we were together. In fact, we never lived in the same city.

BUT, a 7 hour drive is different than a half-country flight, and both people have to be into it. I've done long distance, and there are aspects that are very rough, but there are also good aspects to it. I was in that relationship for the long haul, but she didn't like the distance. In my experience, most girls don't.

I guess I'm just not getting my hopes up for a long-shot. However, I'm not in the "if it's meant to be, it will be" camp. I think doors are opened for us and it's up to us to walk through them. I believe it is entirely possible to miss the person you should be with because you didn't take a chance... and that's why I'm going on this date, I mean, why pass it up? You do never know.

WHY?

So I met this girl right before I left for Baltimore. I was with K at the time and struggling with stuff. To be honest, I barely noticed her because of everything that was going on. She seemed sweet, but not my type, physically, conversationally, etc.

Well, apparently she was smitten. And she started sending me messages on the internet, and we had conversations back and forth through e-mail. I was upfront about the fact that I wasn't looking for anything, and she seemed to understand, but has still been entusiastic about seeing me.

I was planning on going to a movie tonight with good friends and I decided to throw her a bone and ask her to join us. And wow. Bo-ring! She didn't act like she even wanted to be there. She didn't seem to find me funny at all (maybe she's sick!). She was hardly conversational, and she all but jumped out of the car when I took her home. What the crap?

Maybe I shouldn't care, but it just seemed so weird to me. Whatever, is it Saturday yet?

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P.S. We saw Rocky Balboa... I can't recommend it, but I can't say it's bad either. Some of it was done really well.. and while the dialouge wasn't high-brow, it was still genuinely sweet and emotional. You can't help but be endeared by the big sweet aging brute. Stalone does pull it off really well.

I'VE GOT A DATE!

WHOO! I'll admit it, I'm excited. And that's the best part of this... I've had dates since K, but none I was excited about. This girl is fun and goofy... a dork like me. Again (for those who read before), I'm not looking to start a relationship, long distance is not a good idea... but I'm going to go on this date and enjoy it at the time.

She lives about an hour and a half from KC, so I'm driving out there Saturday... Whether I stay the night is in the air... We'll see (no sex people, calm down :) )

To give you a little more of the story, she is at MU, studying accounting. She's in the last year of a master's program. When she graduates she's moving to Chicago for a job. Her parents live in DC though, which is a 30 or so minute drive from my apartment in Baltimore. My hope is that if things work out we can keep up a friendship and see if there's ever a chance in the future. It's a longshot, of course, but why not try? Nothing to lose, I think.

It's nice to be excited for a date again. I don't get this way very often, so it's a good sign. Here's to hoping Saturday goes well!

CLASSICAL MUSIC?



Admittedly, Pacelbel's Canon is one of my guilty pleasures when it comes to classical music... but this guy is pretty good.



Now this is just awesome.



Mozart's Requiem, the Dies Irae movement. One of the greatest pieces from the classical period (IMHO), used in a very interesting way.

MY NEW YEARS

So the plan is to hang out with my two best friends, and go to another friend's party where there are three single girls we are to meet (friend 1 has a gf, but just coming along) Sounds good.

Friend 1 bails. Apparently he and his girlfriend just broke up and he's going to be talking to her all night on the phone. I know, doesn't make sense to me either... but he wouldn't lie to me.

Friend 2 bails. Sort of. He wanted to bring 12 friends to a party where I didn't know anyone. I said no. He said he's staying with his friends. Whatever.

Go to the party alone... it's alright, I know friend HH and her new boyfriend that I like.

Get there, and chat it up with HH's friends, HH, her boyfriend, and others... good time.

End up really clicking with one of HH's friends. Like, really clicking. Apparently HH was trying to hook us up. She's got good taste. This girl is the perfect body type, and has a hilarious, goofy sense of humor. Awesome! I got the digits, and she seemed really interested.

Took HH home, she's a really good friend and it was great to talk to her. She gives me a VERY unexpected kiss as I leave (she knew I wanted a new years kiss and that it didn't happen). It was sweet, and totally a friend thing.

On the way home, barely avoided a head on collision with a drunk driver. You read right. Fucking asshole almost killed me. Coming straight at me in the wrong lane, I barely had time to swerve because there was a car in front of me and I didn't see it until it was almost too late.

So, cop instinct (dad's an officer), I pull a U-turn, got that fucker's plate #, found a cop and reported it. I hope they got 'em and he spends his new years in a 10 x 10 cell with a big fat guy who thinks he's got a purdy mouth.

And here I am, 3 AM and feeling good that I met an awesome girl. I have no dellusions of starting anything now... but it makes me feel really good to connect with someone so quickly. She's an awesome girl and I'm really hoping to keep up a friendship... who knows, maybe there's something there in the future... there were fireworks.